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acacia alba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (1) Thanks(1)   Quote acacia alba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Oct 2023 at 11:53pm
Irish Blonde...

 

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland, arrivedat the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice

 

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."  with that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

 

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down  and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

 

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.  Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"  The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."

 

MORAL OF THE STORY

 

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,

..... but all men...are men!

animals before people.
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acacia alba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote acacia alba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Nov 2023 at 8:44pm
A man and a woman were having a quiet, romantic dinner in a fine restaurant.
They were gazing lovingly at each other and holding hands.
The waitress, taking another order at a table a few steps away, suddenly
noticed the woman slowly sliding down her chair, under the table and
under the table cloth, but the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress watched as the woman slid all the way down her chair and
totally out of sight under the tablecloth.
Still, the man stared straight ahead.
The waitress, thinking this behavior a bit risqué and worried that it might
offend other diners, went over to the table and, tactfully, began by saying
to the man: "Pardon me, sir, but I think your wife just slid under the table."
The man calmly looked up at her and said, "No, she didn't..........
she just walked in."
animals before people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote PhillipC Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Nov 2023 at 7:33pm
ROFL :-)
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acacia alba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote acacia alba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2023 at 2:22pm
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


What is the speed of darkness?


Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

animals before people.
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acacia alba View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (2) Thanks(2)   Quote acacia alba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Nov 2023 at 2:23pm
Did you ever stop and wonder.......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'


Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'


Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?


Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs
!
animals before people.
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