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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Next he will believe he's a golfer .
I don't know what is considered a good handicap . I started off on a 1 and still won easily. My opponent only got 63 over the 18 holes . I beat him easily . |
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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Noting that her husband looked more haggard and disgruntled than usual after his weekly golf game, his wife asked what was wrong.
He answered, “Well, on the 4th hole, Harry had a heart attack and died. It was terrible! The entire rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry!” |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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Husband and wife were playing in the club’s mixed foursomes. He hit a great drive down the middle – she sliced the second shot into a copse of trees. Unfazed he played a brilliant recovery shot, which went onto the green a foot from the pin. She poked at the putt and sent it ten feet beyond the pin. He lined up the long putt and sank it. To his wife, he said, “We’ll have to do better. That was a bogey five.” “Don’t blame me,” she snapped, “I only took two of them.”
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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One fine day, John and Don are out golfing when John slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 7-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.
The brush is quite thick, but he searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact a 7-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball. John excitedly calls out to his golfing partner: “Hey Don, come here. I’ve got some real trouble down here.” Don comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out: “What’s the matter, John? Is everything okay?” John shouts back in a nervous voice, “Throw me my 8-iron! Apparently, you can’t get out of here with a seven. |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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stayer
Champion Joined: 10 Aug 2010 Status: Offline Points: 21888 |
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Yep.
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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This is an oldie but goldie ;
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Refer ALP Election Promises
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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A similar joke...
Nick and Lou head out for a quick round of golf. Since they are short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Nick says to Lou, “Let’s say we make the time worth the while, at least for one of us, and spot $5 on the lowest score for the day.” Lou agrees and they enjoy a great game. After the 8th hole, Lou is ahead by one stroke but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th. “Help me find my ball; you look over there,” he says to Nick.After five minutes, neither has had any luck. Since a lost ball carries a two-stroke penalty, Lou pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. “I’ve found my ball!” he announces triumphantly. Nick looks at him forlornly, “After all the years we’ve been friends, you’d cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?” “What do you mean cheat? I found my ball sitting right here!” “And a liar, too!” Nick says with amazement. “I’ll have you know I’ve been standing on your ball for the last five minutes!” |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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John and Bob were two of the bitterest rivals at the club. Neither man trusted the other’s arithmetic. One day they were playing a heated match and watching each other like hawks. After holing out on the fourth green and marking his six on the scorecard, John asked Bob,”What’d you have?
Bob went through the motions of mentally counting up. “Six!” he said and then hastily corrected himself – ” No, no…. a five.” Calmly John marked the scorecard, saying out loud “Eight!” “Eight?” Bob said, “I couldn’t have had eight.” John said, “Nope, you claimed six, then changed it to five, but actually you had seven.” “Then why did you mark down eight?” asked Bob. John told him, “One stroke penalty, for improving your lie.” |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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Vixen
Champion Joined: 07 Jan 2018 Status: Offline Points: 2035 |
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TOP 5
Sanderson Farms W. Zalators @ 4.50 S. Burns @ 4.50 S. Im @ 4.50 Alfred Dunhill Links S. Lowry @ 4.50 A. Noren @ 4.50 |
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Shrunk in the Wash
Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 9890 |
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Sungjae Im plays more often than I do.
Speaking of...........FORE
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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Used to back him all the time. Bad habit of melting in the final round
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Second Chance
Champion Joined: 02 Dec 2007 Status: Offline Points: 45321 |
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Bit a problem for women, but my Scottish grandfather explained that bushes were grown and bunkers largely built for blokes.
‘What are you supposed to do for four hours?’: Toilets off-limits for golfersGolfers were happy to return to their courses this week, but some were hopping mad to find club toilets closed because of public health directions. |
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Vixen
Champion Joined: 07 Jan 2018 Status: Offline Points: 2035 |
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Shrunk in the Wash
Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 9890 |
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Burns is on fire & Sungjae plays every week, god love him.
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8569 |
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The Shark is back shaking things up! Beware.
"In 1994, Greg Norman attempted to launch a startup league called the World Golf Tour. The bid flamed out, blocked by the PGA Tour, but the idea never went away. Not in the sport’s consciousness nor in Norman’s. On Friday morning, a new company called LIV Golf Investments announced Norman as its CEO. Our Michael Bamberger tried to make sense of the press release, which announced an investment of $200 million over 10 years to the Asian Tour, promised to “holistically improve the health of professional golf” and hinted that “this is only the beginning.” ESPN’s reporting suggested that while this is a different endeavor from the Premier Golf League, Norman will be commissioner of a new league that hopes to have its first events as soon as 2022.To borrow a quote from another brainchild of the mid-90s, Mrs. Doubtfire, let me be the one to ask: What the hell is going on here? . . ." https://golf.com/news/greg-norman-saudi-golf-league-10-questions/
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rusty nails
Champion Joined: 20 Mar 2013 Location: Sydney Status: Online Points: 11302 |
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The shark should stick to posting nude selfies……
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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He would be much better suited to throwing a gelati load of money behind a new Woman’s Tour. Interest in the woman has come a long way over the past few years & will continue to gain traction IMO. The quality of the product is fantastic - esp with all those Asian ladies playing. The prizemoney is still a long way behind the men - so you would get a lot more bang for your buck I reckon - & a much higher chance of success
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Shrunk in the Wash
Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 9890 |
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Good on ya Sharkie
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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while I am not adverse to those selfies, I reckon the pro-tour neds a shake-up. More team events, more match-play...perhaps even something completely innovative would make golf more exciting. It's gone into a bit of a rut. the tour needs some shark charisma... |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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Shrunk in the Wash
Champion Joined: 25 Mar 2016 Status: Offline Points: 9890 |
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I’d like to see the girls play on the same course. In fact, in the same tournaments. Simply adjust the par score
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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Agree Shrunk. Already been one not that long ago. Girls competitive as well. Only difference was the girls tee off shorter. The problem of course with setting up a better system is there just are not enough week-ends in a year to accommodate all the destinations who want the best golfers to participate. Not easy. I think the current Tour program works pretty well - with the Majors accommodating opportunities from most of them . US PG Tour with its feeder Tour (Korn Ferry), European Tour with its feeder Challenge Tour , Asian Tour , Japan Tour , Sth African Tour (Sunshine) , Australasian PGA & a few more regular minors around the globe.
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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we used to play against the men in club competitions, so why not. that's what handicapping is for. It would be great to see a top woman golfer knock off the male pros...and dent a few egos. |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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rusty nails
Champion Joined: 20 Mar 2013 Location: Sydney Status: Online Points: 11302 |
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Please……
Watch them putt It’s a different grade. |
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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I'd suggest the top rank women have short games competitive with the men Rusty - including on the greens. The likes of Jin Young Ko , Inbee Park , the Korda's , Lydia Ko are exceptional.
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oneonesit
Champion Joined: 06 Aug 2012 Status: Offline Points: 36895 |
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I was going to say that the depth may be lacking - however i'm not even sure about that these days. The number of Sth Korean & Thai girls alone that are all coming through is unbelievable. Plenty other countries as well - Japan , China US....even Australia , Sth Africa & even India. So much talent bubbling up
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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Ha. You don't know how funny that is. I was a one-putt demon. And an elderly lady at my club could out-putt the lot of us. |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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Talking about putting...
Greg Norman was a sensational putter until that idiot Charlie Earp messed with Greg's mind. I once had a go at him (Charlie) at The Australian course, asking him why he tinkered with the most reliable putter (Greg) in the game. Charlie rattled on (actually he blustered) about how Greg's normal putting action wouldn't hold up under pressure. He ruined Greg. Thereafter, Greg's putting deteriorated and he went back to the pack in that part of his game. If Charlie Earp hadn't had the influence he had, Greg Norman would have won more than two British Opens. |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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rusty nails
Champion Joined: 20 Mar 2013 Location: Sydney Status: Online Points: 11302 |
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It’s the Enid Bayton show again!
Waiting for your story about how you had a drink and played pool in the main bar there…..
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36073 |
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who is Enid Bayton?
Are you referring to Enid Blyton...one of the most prolific and successful writers of all time? No...I didn't have a drink in the main bar of The Australian. But I play a mean game of snooker and pool. |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8569 |
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Fore! While you all concentrate on Novak, the ever youthful mullet head from downunder breaks PGA records in the states.
Smith sets PGA Tour record and outlasts Rahm at Kapalua . . . |
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