TBV Team of the Year

Ok folks, perhaps I have a little too much time on my hands, but I'm happy to announce that Applications are now open for the TBV Rugby League Team of the Year. 

WARNING - This thread is meant as a bit of fun, so please don't take offence. 

The finalised squad will be touring the United States of America with matches already pencilled in for Chicago and Portland. 

Our American contact has agreed to act as tour escort, interpreter and bus driver. We thank Shammy for his commitment to the project. He will greet us on arrival and take us straight to his farm for a night of good old-fashioned fun, including rabbit shooting, square dancing and a pig on the spit. It will be considered a TRiUMPh if there is no political discussions on this trip of a lifetime. 

Rhino has been appointed head Coach, so his / hers / them's decisions on all matters will be final.

Suggestions are also needed for our teams logo. I'm thinking the TBV Stallions but we all know most of those available are geldings. 

To ensure balance and equity both on and off the field, Jujuno has been appointed our tour Referee and expert on all things Americana. 

I'm pleased to announce Whale (for obvious reasons) is the first person selected as a starting front rower and will captain the team. Having recently returned from suspension, his form has been sound, and whilst he does not have the pace he once had, he will be solid in the middle, lead from the front and take a no nonsense approach in the fashion of JWH. 

More to follow, and suggestions welcome.

Clever creative quick blokes in the backline: 1-1, Stayer, Guru, Plastic, Sunshine, 

A lot of our people will need a heap of fitness work prior to the tour, so I'm appointing you as head of Strength and Conditioning. With your background in Harness, I'm sure we can arrange a few milkshakes where required. 

1) if I can bring my assistants Rob Smerdon & Tony Vasil? 

2) I can put the players in a cart and whip the gelati out of them - Harold Park in the 70s style whipping. 

With the lack of desire and aerobic capacity across a number of team mates, I'm sure a stock whip will be needed. 

I can edit JJ’s tour diary.

Would require more work than editing a non-existent literary work.

 

Second Chance would make a good financial controller.

And Freefall and Ponies could shine as entertainment and activities persons.

Maybe Furious as Mum to keep us all in line and make us be good decent people .

Not sure who would make a good ball boy   ??

LEFT Centre (is there such a thing) PT

RIGHT Centre (same again) Plastic Letters

PT has upped his form after a short injury break. He's now getting around the paddock like a brown dog chasing a rabbit. His best days might be behind him but selectors had to reward his persistent form. 

PLASTIC returns to the fold after a decent off-season stint in the Italian Super League. BTW he had an embarrassing moment over there when his Jersey was shrunk in the wash. We can guarantee that won't happen on our sojourn, as 1x1 has stuck up his hand and will control the Laundry Basket.   

PT told awaiting reporters (SKY News) that being team vice captain is a great honour and how he is looking forward to working with Letters to make fair and just decisions on behalf of the team. PT said "Letters and I can't wait to reunite, we have so much in common and stand united behind our principals". Letters spoke from the heart declaring "PT and I get on like a house on fire". "There has never been a snipe between us".