Test Cricket

Oh sh*t, that starts on Wednesday

Time is a flat circle

Australia $1.09 Draw $14.00 WI $13.00

Woke v Toke.........and a complete borefest, shades of days gone by, wonder what Viv thinks of all this, and Ian Chappel, Iron Gloves will be watching from above with that wry smirk of his, ....and of course 2 2 2.........I'm embarrassed for them.....

The best hope for the West Indies is that they at least look competitive in patches but realistically Australia should be hoping to win by an innings or a pile of wickets/runs, the top 4 should be aiming to fill their boots and book their tickets to England next year before the much tougher second assignment this summer against the South African pacers.

The Green caps are due to head across the ditch next summer, but you are right they play to infrequently over there.

Lets see, a drop in grassy/straw like pitch in the ugliest stadium in Australia. A soulless cauldron with no trees or fresh air to blow in to keep people cool. The drop in fake pitches, $15 beers, $10 cup of chips and $8 pies. Australia win the toss and bat, big surprise. The bogans assemble in the commentary box with Isa Guha a welcome relief from the grating and annoying Waugh, Gilly and Howard.So Australia win the toss and decide to bat and bat and bat and bat until we are so fkn bored of Warners lame fist pumps to the sky that we'd rather turn it off and strip hairs off our nut sacks with tweezers. Finally the sandpaper legend is removed and Australia are 2/648 at tea on day two.Australia bat for another hr after tea, Smith looks to be swatting invisible flies with his bat and fidgets like a mental patient while at the crease. Bro friend Lasagne is at the non strikers blowing bubbles of hubba bubba and looking at himself on the big screen whenever he can. These two bat and bat and bat and bat some more until they finally put us out of our misery & declare with an hr till close of play...thaaaaaaaank fk for that.

West indies come out to bat, theres approx 40 mins left till stumps, Starc bowls and takes two wickets in the first over, second over Cummins bowls and WI batsman nick one through slips to 3rd man, last ball of the over, Cummins runs in, tongue hanging out one side of his gob, hoooowzaaaaaat !!! traps the West Indies batsmen in front for an LBW appeal. Umpire gives it not out, Smith and Cummins discuss, Australia review, yaaaay goes the crowd of 18,437 people.. everyone turns to the big screen, height is the question, it looks like it will go over the stumps comfortably, Australia review anyway. Rewview is on the scren, waiting for sniko, nothing there, ball tracking building building building.. ball pitches oustide off aaaaand seams back sharply into the stumps, shock horror eagle dogs eye show the ball miraculously slowing down and bouncing 1 foot off the ground to go on and hit middle stump, bahahahahahah hawkeye does it again, batsmen pulls a face like what the hell just happened, umpire chuckles, Smith and Lasagne hug and kiss, batsman stands there body language saying you guys can't be serious, Warner sledges him saying get the fk off the field you're out. Batsman walks off shaking his head.

Next over Starc bowls a short one and it goes flying over the keepers head for byes. Next ball batsmen nicks it to slips and is dropped by Smith, he starts doing tai chi for some weird reason. Next ball batsman plays a nice cover drive for 4, crowd claps. Starc shugs and pulls a face. Next ball batsman plays away from his body at a wide one, slices it to Green at point and catch is taken. Smith and Lasagne kiss and hug again, then they both do tai chi. West indies 4 down for 23 runs, they need another 680 to catch Australia's first innings total. Night watchman comes out and prods at a few deliveries, misses a few that fly through to the keeper, clock is showing 1 minute to 6pm, bowler and umpire are in position for one more over. Night watchman facing Hazlewood, first ball defence is solid, second same again, 3rd ball he leaves it alone, 4th ball is hit to mid wicket no run, 2 balls left, Hazlewood bowls and he hits the top off bails go flying and you guessed Smith and Lasagne kiss and hug and roll about on the ground. Hazlewood sledges the batsman, Umpire nods with approval then removes the bails at the bowlers end that's enough today lads. West Indies are 5 for 27 at close of day 2.

Sound about right ?

That's twice in a row Warner has managed that high degree of difficulty drag onto stumps from out wide shot isn't it? Geek

Manners are of more importance than laws

Edmund Burke

Bonjour wrote:

Woke v Toke.........and a complete borefest, shades of days gone by, wonder what Viv thinks of all this, and Ian Chappel, Iron Gloves will be watching from above with that wry smirk of his, ....and of course 2 2 2.........I'm embarrassed for them.....

I reckon I could almost still name a great 80s Windies team in batting order, they were so amazing to me as a kid. Something like Haynes, Greenich, Richardson, Gomes, Lloyd, Richards, Dujon, Marshall, Holding, Garner, Walsh. Throw in little Gus Logie when Clive retired I think (?) and their specialist 12th man/ fielder Roger Harper and I reckon I'd be pretty close. Can't remember exactly where Viv batted, but maybe he shuffled around a bit. When Viv strode on in his cap it was like seeing a noble lion to a little kid. Good times.

Ah there we go thanks PT.

Never would have guessed that. I see 4 innings for a century and 2 50s. Freak.

1 Test, mostly batted 6 or 7

Viv Richards opened the batting in all 4 Sheffield Shield matches that he played for Queensland back in 1976/77 season.

Champagne Labucshagne . Clap

Had a few " lives " today Afros , love his cover drive , reminds me a little of one D. Gower .