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Maccamax - Have you thought about an obit?

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Topic: Maccamax - Have you thought about an obit?
Posted By: Shammy Davis
Subject: Maccamax - Have you thought about an obit?
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:20am
Macca:  When I read this I thought of you.  I recall one of your latest posts (Ukraine) as you were thinking about being a Marine and going to war.  God bless you.LOL

Here's a good sample obit that you might want to follow to leave the world with a bit of your humor.  You can change the names and numbers of wives to protect the innocent.  Hope you will make sure to include your relationship with Princess Julie though.  Historical events are important for the public to know about along with date you lost your virginity.  Victoria was queen then, wasn't she?

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/17/self-penned-obituary-earns-korean-war-vet-last-laugh-from-grave/



A Korean War veteran who wrote his own heart-warming and hilarious obituary now gone viral gave himself a perfect sendoff, one of his grandchildren told FoxNews.com.

Walter George Bruhl Jr., of Delaware, who died at early Sunday at 80, in Florida, poked fun at society, his wife and most of all himself in the 679-word obituary, originally posted online by his grandson, Sam, last week after Bruhl's family discovered it. In the first line, Bruhl aptly describes himself as "a dead person," and goes on to note his wife of 57 years, Helene, will “now be able to purchase the mink coat” he always denied her because “only minks should wear mink.”

Bruhl’s granddaughter, Kalla, said the obituary was vintage Walter Bruhl.

"It was perfect for him, because he’s always been like that."

- Kalla Bruhl

“It was perfect for him, because he’s always been like that,” she told FoxNews.com. “He’s funny.”

The obituary has made the rounds on Twitter and Facebook, generating positive reviews from folks who never knew Bruhl, but know they would have liked him. Amid the self-deprecating lines and tender memories is the story of a man from humble beginnings who fought for his nation, loved his family and enjoyed an occasional adult beverage.

Here's the obituary in its entirety:

Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.

Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.

He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl.

He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother's great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951.

Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.

He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.)

He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza).

In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then "downsized" in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been "downsized" from, and stayed until July 1995.

He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99.

There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.

Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What's a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.

Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt's life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.

Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.

A memorial luncheon in Walt's honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark.




Replies:
Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 10:50am
A good read Shammy.
My better half and I have already done our few words for our Headstones .    That should suffice.
On hers I recommended.      Layed for the final time.
On mine she recommended.    Stiff at last.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 11:39am
You are true to form.  LOLI'll leave my imagination to visualize the size and scope of your monuments.  Hope they don't obstruct flight patterns into and out of Sydney Airport.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 11:55am
Surely you meant Orbit...??




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Panspermia.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 12:04pm
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:

Surely you meant Orbit...??



Confused  Wasn't aware that OZ has a space program.  The way USA and Russian relations are going, you all might propose to take our seats on upcoming flights to the international space station.  Or maybe not . . . recall Abbott shooting his face off to the Russians about the Crimea.  Suspect if there is any shooting to be done it won't be to the stars.  Cry me a river.Cry

Alas, Maxie will be ready whatever occurs, I am sure.  He has announced he is ready to go to war.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 12:18pm
I think having macca in orbit would make a lot of people happy, give him a big reflective aluminum foil sail and he can use his own hot air as a solar wind to propel himself around the globe.






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Panspermia.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 1:14pm
Shammy .. Shame . Australia Has the biggest Space program in the world.   England did have some input.
It is situated just below Fiddlesticks nose , centrally driven by too much tongue Torque.

   You missed an "H" when you said I was ready for a wore.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 1:46pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Shammy .. Shame . Australia Has the biggest Space program in the world.   England did have some input.
It is situated just below Fiddlesticks nose , centrally driven by too much tongue Torque.

   You missed an "H" when you said I was ready for a wore.

Are you "picking" at Fiddles' nose?  Odd place for "space" to be.  For most, it's between their ears.LOL

You should be careful how you refer to your ladies.  You may find that your tomb stone reads "not stiff enough."Wink


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 2:11pm
   I read where a bloke was too well built to get the lid on the coffin.
The undertaker suggested they cut it off and put it in the Flowers.
The Widow said to cut it off and shove it " you know where " and added that was what he did when she had the Flowers.

Which reminds me of Fiddles,   any port in a storm.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 2:29pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

   I read where a bloke was too well built to get the lid on the coffin.
The undertaker suggested they cut it off and put it in the Flowers.
The Widow said to cut it off and shove it " you know where " and added that was what he did when she had the Flowers.

Which reminds me of Fiddles,   any port in a storm.

I just love to hear stories about beautiful relationships particularly when flowers are exchanged for something more personal.  With your numerous experiences I'll bet you could go for hours telling me about them but alas its bedtime for this old man.  Tonight I think I'll dream about being buried intact.  I'll have no problems fitting into anything after I'm cremated.  I'll think my urn should read "melt down for scrape."Thumbs Up  I might even donate some of my organs to science.  They can use them to calibrate microscopes.

"Port in a storm?"  Is Fiddles out fishing today?  Good for him, his 24 hour TBV news service must be stressful.  Probably not as stressful as fishing in a storm though.LOL  I've heard OZ is getting a fair share of fierce winds.  Macca have you been out in the public talking again?


Posted By: Nocturnal
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 2:44pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

A good read Shammy.
My better half and I have already done our few words for our Headstones .    That should suffice.
On hers I recommended.      Layed for the final time.
On mine she recommended.    Stiff at last.


You are a legend Macca

-------------
The only problem with backing winners ? You never have enough on....


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 3:54pm
Originally posted by Nocturnal Nocturnal wrote:

Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

A good read Shammy.
My better half and I have already done our few words for our Headstones .    That should suffice.
On hers I recommended.      Layed for the final time.
On mine she recommended.    Stiff at last.


You are a legend Macca


Thank you Nocturnal.   Great to see a few like yourself and Shammy etc. who haven't become too precious to share some wicked humour.
At times I wonder why I have to hold back , when a few complain.
But their complaints are not in vain as my shares in "Rubber Goods" skyrocket with each whinge.




Posted By: jujuno
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 5:37pm
 I think Macca's wife's headstone should read: "Bored to Death."

 

 


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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...


Posted By: jujuno
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 5:40pm
 mine is going to read "Gone! Yes, finally! Happy now?"

 

 Rejected


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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 6:00pm
Originally posted by jujuno jujuno wrote:

 mine is going to read "Gone! Yes, finally! Happy now?"

 

 Rejected


Don't be Depressed.   We are a long time under the sod.
And things could be worse .    You could be waking up with me to face for the day.
Cherish the thought.     It may not be "Happy Days" but you would certainly have a smile on your face.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 6:01pm
Originally posted by jujuno jujuno wrote:

 I think Macca's wife's headstone should read: "Bored to Death."

 

 


That would have been OK JJ , but she didn't allow me to do all the boring.      Unfaithful wench.


Posted By: jujuno
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 6:57pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Originally posted by jujuno jujuno wrote:

 mine is going to read "Gone! Yes, finally! Happy now?"

 

 Rejected


Don't be Depressed.   We are a long time under the sod.
And things could be worse .    You could be waking up with me to face for the day.
Cherish the thought.     It may not be "Happy Days" but you would certainly have a smile on your face.

 the thought of waking up with you is enough to make anyone 



-------------
Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:35pm
Be steaming from the ears too.

That's a shocker.   There goes my ego .     


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:40pm
my headstone is going to say.
Dont get mad.  Just get even .Thumbs Up



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animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:50pm
Originally posted by acacia alba acacia alba wrote:

my headstone is going to say.
Dont get mad.  Just get even .Thumbs Up
   FIDDLES HEADSTONE
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
------------
For Me I will settle for a soft line.:-
     Two things I love most,
good horses and beautiful women,
And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine
and make it into a ladies saddle,
So I can rest in peace
between the two things I love


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:58pm
Macca's will say...

Here lies Larry Pickering's french polisher..



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Panspermia.


Posted By: saintly96
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 10:03pm
When I die, I want free Wi-Fi at my headstone, that way the kids might visit me.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 11:46pm
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:

Macca's will say...

Here lies Larry Pickering's french polisher..



who is Larry Pickering ?   And why does he have a french polisher ?


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animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 12:36am
He is a Journo Larry .   I rarely read him but fiddles is in a delusional state again.     How do you get him to take his Rx.

Saintly has the modern kids well tabbed.   They would send a text message. 1st priority.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 1:18am
OK ,so why does Larry need a french polisher ??
call me old and slow,,but i dont get it.   what is a french polisher ??
kids and texts,,OMG.  they never raise their head and the fingers are faster than the speed of sound.
I think its sad, the way kids now sit and stare at the screen,, and the fingers working O/T.  never join in conversation,,,,,never join in at all,,,just sit there staring at a phone.
what a life !!  
sad really. they dont even know what they are missing.



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animals before people.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 1:55am
AA:  It's hard for me to keep up with all the colloquialisms in OZ, but french polishing is a wood working technique to bring a high gloss finish to furniture et al.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7wANfTub8

Of course, I never know.  Maybe be Fiddles is being naughty.  It's possible Fiddles is delusional also because by my stateside calculations he probably hasn't slept in a month.


Posted By: Go Flash Go
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 6:45am
Not sure how old macca is, by thiis l'm guessing old (in years) but he's still quick on the draw and a deadeye - he even let's them draw first - love your work (most of the time Wink)


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 7:23am
A French polisher does a lot of rubbing. You can take it from thereWink

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Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 7:50am
I knew Fiddles was being naughty.  Why would Macca want to put a high gloss on his furniture?

I went to a funeral some years back.  The husband had died at a relatively young age and the widow, with a child for every year she'd been married, was overcome with grief.  She was wailing and crying and friends and family were trying to console her.  This was just prior to the service beginning.  The organ music then began to play softly, the funeral director closed the open casket, and the minister took his place at the pulpit.  The whispers through the church had become silent and then all of sudden the widow screamed, "Lord, lord, he is gone, he is gone and thank goodness he can't go out on me no more!"LOL

The service from that point on was the shortest I'd ever attended.



Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 7:57am
I think the suggestion was that he was polishing Larry Pickering's furniture. Larry reinforces most of maxies political and social 'wisdom' 

http://pickeringpost.com/" rel="nofollow - http://pickeringpost.com/


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Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 8:07am
Originally posted by saintly96 saintly96 wrote:

When I die, I want free Wi-Fi at my headstone, that way the kids might visit me.

Great idea.  I couldn't get away with just Wi-Fi.  I'll have to have an unlimited access free ATM as a headstone then maybe my deadbeat son-in-law will suggest that my oldest visit.  The youngest daughter will visit anyway because she's still single and now knows what a deadbeat husband looks like.LOL  I'd put in the Wi-Fi because she loves music.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 9:16am
Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

A French polisher does a lot of rubbing. You can take it from thereWink


they're a bit slow in here BD....deary me...LOL


-------------
Panspermia.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 10:45am
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:

Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

A French polisher does a lot of rubbing. You can take it from thereWink


they're a bit slow in here BD....deary me...LOL

I understood completely.  Fiddles was being naughty.  


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 11:41am
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

He is a Journo Larry .  I don't read him much


LMAO...LOL..oh come on, stop lying....you quote stuff off his website daily macca...daily.




-------------
Panspermia.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 1:15pm
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:


Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

He is a Journo Larry .  I don't read him much


LMAO...LOL..oh come on, stop lying....you quote stuff off his website daily macca...daily.


   Great minds may think alike but I rarely go near Pickering ,
or paper news. I do tape and watch a lot of T.V Political shows so blame them for my undisputed expertise.
And yes,   it is nice to have a well polished knob.   Wished I had realised some 70 years and avoided the pain of the Furry Noose that only does the same job anyway.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 19 Mar 2014 at 9:31pm
Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

A French polisher does a lot of rubbing. You can take it from thereWink


OHHH.  OK.   I know a french polisher does work with restoring furniture, but missed that little point.
Thanks.Thumbs Up



-------------
animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 12:22am
Not many miss my little point A>A> .   Years ago I was credited with about 50% of the bonking in Sydney .   Nothing to brag about I suppose , as Sydney isn't really a big place.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 12:37am
Gees Saintly .. He closed down the best picture for this generation,
I have to go all the way to page 96 of the Gods Thread to have a peep at that nice little dog.
Try as I may I couldn't transfer it here and as I'm sure I'm not the only deviate on here , send us another copy.    


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 10:27am
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Not many miss my little point A>A> .   Years ago I was credited with about 50% of the bonking in Sydney .   Nothing to brag about I suppose , as Sydney isn't really a big place.

Wow.  50% of the bonking.  Sydney is a small place.LOL


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 11:56am
small things amuse small minds.

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animals before people.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 12:29pm
Still think orbit is a good idea...

-------------
Panspermia.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 1:53pm
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:

Still think orbit is a good idea...

    
              HERBIT and I might agree.

Think about it.        her bit.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 1:56pm
Originally posted by acacia alba acacia alba wrote:

small things amuse small minds.

It isn't the length of the fuse AA.
        It is the quality of the powder.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 2:06pm
MMM,  Macca  , similar to a dog chasing a bus., me thinks .
fisrt you gotta catch it, then work out what to do with it when you do.


-------------
animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 3:46pm
Originally posted by acacia alba acacia alba wrote:

MMM,  Macca  , similar to a dog chasing a bus., me thinks .
fisrt you gotta catch it, then work out what to do with it when you do.


   You bring back memories.   I upended a sweety on Bondi Beach one time and she nervously asked me what I wanted.
   I said " your knickers around your ankles "
She started to cry about, how she had failed me , she said " when I heard I was going out with you I didn't wear any "   


Posted By: Gay3
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 4:11pm
"You ditty ol' man" as the Son used to say to Steptoe Wink


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Wisdom has been chasing me but I've always outrun it!


Posted By: jujuno
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 4:20pm


-------------
Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 20 Mar 2014 at 9:44pm
Gee that was lucky.   I only had my post removed. Phew . Thought the a Vet. trip was on..
I don't know where they get them but a café had human testicles on toast as a breakfast option up here recently.
I told the waitress I couldn't try them as I am allergic to bread.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 21 Mar 2014 at 3:19am
Topic: Maccamax - Have you thought about an obit?
    Posted: Mar 2014 at 9:20am

Macca: When I read this I thought of you.    God bless you.

    Gees Shammy , 3.10 am and you have me out buying the early edition of our Daily Telegraph.     YIPPEE , I'm not listed in todays Obit's so at least that stuffs up another day for Fiddlesticks.
Everything seems to be happening .
I even got BANNED yesterday, The Mods are deadly at the moment.
I asked the Mod what I said wrong ..   She said she couldn't print it to tell me or she would get banned too.      
   Isn't that so funny.   I luv it.   best part is Fiddles won't " get it ".


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 21 Mar 2014 at 11:11am
There you go Macca.  Just think about it.  I've given you something to keep yourself occupied in your old age. I clearly believe your posts might be a bit embellished so now early in the morning (if your stiff skeletal limbs allow) you can go out to buy the Daily Telegraph just to see if you are mentioned in the obits.

You've got something else to thank we yanks for now.LOL


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 21 Mar 2014 at 3:49pm
Originally posted by Shammy Davis Shammy Davis wrote:

There you go Macca.  Just think about it.  I've given you something to keep yourself occupied in your old age. I clearly believe your posts might be a bit embellished so now early in the morning (if your stiff skeletal limbs allow) you can go out to buy the Daily Telegraph just to see if you are mentioned in the obits.

You've got something else to thank we yanks for now.LOL


Chicken Surprise

A couple go for a meal at a Chinese restaurant and order the 'Chicken Surprise',
The waiter brings the meal, served in a lidded cast iron pot.
Just as the wife is about to serve herself, the lid of the pot rises slightly
and she briefly sees two beady little eyes looking around,

before the lid slams back down.

'Good grief, did you see that?' she asks her husband.

He hadn't, so she asks him to look in the pot.

He reaches for it and again the lid rises and he sees two little eyes,

looking around before it slams down..

Rather perturbed, he calls the waiter over,

explains what is happening, and demands an explanation.

'Please sir,' says the waiter, 'what you order?'

The husband replies, 'Chicken Surprise'

(You're going to love this,

and you're going to hate yourself for loving it!...)


'Ah! So sorry,' says the waiter,

'I bring you Peeking Duck by mistake'.......

SOMETIMES I PRETEND TO BE NORMAL,

but I lost my medication!


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 22 Mar 2014 at 12:12am
Peeking Duck!  LOL.LOL


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 30 Mar 2014 at 4:09pm
Originally posted by Shammy Davis Shammy Davis wrote:

Peeking Duck!  LOL.LOL


Hello Shammy.   Shame to see such an educational thread dying in the arse.   Thought you may have been on the way to the Ukraine.
   I see The Italians are in a big financial mess.   They probably need a WW to improve the economy.
Wonder whose side they will be on this time.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 3:22am
Maccamax:  The Italians are always on their own side of things.  Besides who in their right mind would want to be involved with them.  If you are student or tourist in Italy you run the risk of being arrested ( on some trumped up charge) and spending a great portion of your remaining life trying to get free from their court system.  All those pictures of the beautiful historical places in Rome, et al, (just like the pictures of Hungary) are photo shopped.  Italy, like Hungary and a few other places, I've traveled need comprehensive "waste management" plans written into their constitutions.

As for combat engagements and WWIII, forgive me, but it was you that boasted that you wanted to be a Marine and it was you that was heading to the Ukraine.  Be there and done that.  Mrs Shammy and I just returned from the USMC base at Quantico, VA.  We visited with friends and the USMC Museum there.  Lots of memorial unit monuments along the woodland trails encircling the beautiful museum.  Most stones had the names of the fallen.  I knew some of them.  Came mighty close to having my name enscribed on them  Not interested in another war.

As for you, my Ozzie friend, when your sex life (or at least the embellishment of it) begins to become a fleeting memory, a good war might well add some excitement to your life.   You won't have to shop at the chemist for little rubber attachments because there is little time (if you want to be a true warrior) to use them.  Right now, you can head right to your local Army surplus store and outfit yourself with military articles of attire that will at the very least get the attention of the young ladies.  I do recommend that if you arm yourself, it not be with any loaded with metalic objects or to more specific with anything that when you pull the trigger the discharge reaches are few micrometers in front of you.LOL   After reading some of your posts, I think your method of scaring off the enemy is to "expose yourself."

I've got some old tactics manuals, so when you decide to go, I give them to you.

You know with all the diplomates running around the world, talking about how to make peace, threatening sanctions, spending our tax dollars, arousing the international press, and for the most part acting stupid, I think both of us will be in our graves before WWIII is a reality.

By the way, I've taken a couple swipes at you on other threads in Racing and Breeding forums.  You all tuckered out by the time you finish the "word association" thread? LOL  I guess,sarcastic posts won't get you aroused.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 5:18am
Don't think I've been on any breeding Forums.   R&S on occasions but I think my 27 life bans, over in that sewer, now carry a "no parole.
   Is someone stealing my Monica.     Clinton won't be pleased.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 8:19am
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Don't think I've been on any breeding Forums.   R&S on occasions but I think my 27 life bans, over in that sewer, now carry a "no parole.   Is someone stealing my Monica.     Clinton won't be pleased.

What a surprise!  I would have thought the "breeding forum" would be your place of choice.  So you don't have any particular hangouts, you just keep yourself "generally" entertained.  

Don't know who is doing Clinton now.  Certainly not Hilary.  Monica is on the lamb taking cover from ditty old men as Gay3 identifies them.  To think, if you'd been born in the states you (as you have been protrayed on TBV) might have been President, but then you wouldn't have received all the free yank GI giveaways, would you?  Hope you didn't get addicted to those cigarettes and chocolates.  I hope you didn't wear those nylons either.Wink

Hilary and Bill slept in separate bedrooms in the White House.  She would have never reached over and felt his leg remarking "that's a big one."LOL  According to some of the women familiar with Bill, nothing was big about him.  "Belittling Bill" will definitely be present if Hilary decides she wants to be President.  If she is elected the USA will have two predator weapons:  Predator Drones and Predator Bill.Shocked  I think Hilary still thinks an orgasm comes when she picks up the Red Telephone in the oval office as the world faces a crisis.  The shame is we couldn't get her pick up any telephone when our Libyan ambassador was killed.

With our current President and his current "stupidity" ratings, Michelle is probably searching for a comfortable sofa to sleep on.  Can't think of many folks comfortable sleeping with an idiot.  My guess is she and the girls have been granted asylum in China for humanitarian reasons.

I notice you've not responded to whether you'll be fighting in the Ukraine.  Not to worry, I don't think your presence or that of Princess Julie is going to be required.  Putin has gotten what he wants and from the sound of President's last speech, Barrack has conceded the Crimea to Russian.

It's possible that "Cry Me A River" is now Barrack's favorite song.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 9:05am
Oh my, feels like I've wandered onto the set of the show "Waiting for God" in this thread...

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Panspermia.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 11:41am
Originally posted by Fiddlesticks Fiddlesticks wrote:

Oh my, feels like I've wandered onto the set of the show "Waiting for God" in this thread...

If he'll have me.LOL


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 11:45am
This is the transit lounge thread. 

Destination and estimated departure time unclear


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Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 1:21pm
Shammy, I have it from a reliable source that "bill the wonderfill" was a mouthful.
Hilary isn't the most attractive type , so the different rooms doesn't come as a surprise.
With that considered and your weather of late I would say Hilary also suffers with chilblains.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 3:00pm
Chilblains!LOL  Maybe Hilary contracted it early in their marriage and there was no recovering from it.  Normally it last on a couple of weeks, but apparently Hilary has always been a rare specimen.

It's possible you are right about Bill being a mouthful.  Witnesses never see a things exactly the same.  Guess it depends on where there attention was focused.

You would have made a great US politician.  You are capable of embellishing the ridiculous and making it almost seem intelligent.  I'm sure you would be right at home in the oval office coat closet.  I can imagine the whispers now.  

She says, "my, my, that is a big sleeve you have on your overcoat . . ."Shocked  

You say, "Shhhhhhh.  That's my . . .Embarrassed"

She interrupts, "what that noise?"

You say, "That's my red telephone ringing."Wacko


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 31 Mar 2014 at 4:20pm
   ME , In the oval office. Brings back memories of one of our Politicians giving his wife a " natures sedative " on his Office Desk .
Most thought that was OK as she was his wife after all.
My argument was we erected him at an erection and pay him big money .   He could have designated that chore to one of the lower paid staffers.    They all have my phone number now as a voluntary worker to attend such duties.

When you see me in an overcoat Shammy , you know I've been doing some '" Flashing ".
Last time I flashed a couple of old ladies . [ wait for it ]
One had a heart attack and the other had a STROKE.
       [ Fiddles won't get that ]


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 2:49am
Getting old jokes is truely something to relish over some of these youngsters, isn't it?  If Fiddles would get more sleep I'd think he'd pick up more. 

I like the use of erected in place of elected.  Makes more sense.  That's what it feels like most of the time when the votes have been counted and we know we've been (for lack of the real feeling) "ducked."  Just don't know how having erection day would go over in the states.  Most of the election officials are woman in our area and they are Baptist.  Being called an erection official might be too much for them.




Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 3:51pm
Shammy ... Out here the strap on products are a growth industry.
    So bad it is having a terrible toll on Supply and Demand.
We have plenty of the product but the girls have got it all.
Too many of us are waking up with T bone steaks and no where to cook it.


Posted By: Whale
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 3:56pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Shammy ... Out here the strap on products are a growth industry.
    So bad it is having a terrible toll on Supply and Demand.
We have plenty of the product but the girls have got it all.
Too many of us are waking up with T bone steaks and no where to cook it.


I am a strap on model , they take casts of me to make them Smile


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 4:08pm
Originally posted by Shammy Davis Shammy Davis wrote:

Getting old jokes is truely something to relish over some of these youngsters, isn't it?  If Fiddles would get more sleep I'd think he'd pick up more. 

I like the use of erected in place of elected.  Makes more sense.  That's what it feels like most of the time when the votes have been counted and we know we've been (for lack of the real feeling) "ducked."  Just don't know how having erection day would go over in the states.  Most of the election officials are woman in our area and they are Baptist.  Being called an erection official might be too much for them.




I get plenty of sleep, 3am till 8am most days and the odd nanna nap in the day is all you need..




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Panspermia.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 5:25pm
Ohhh to be young again Fiddles ..   Tick, tick , tick.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 6:50pm
so Fiddle has nanna naps ??   Hmmm, sound like me !LOL  maybe i just have more than he does.

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animals before people.


Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 6:55pm
yep quite often too, usually around 1pm till 3pm...

siesta time..


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Panspermia.


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 6:59pm
Nothing wrong with a nana nap Embarrassed

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Posted By: Fiddlesticks
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 7:01pm
very under rated BD..

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Panspermia.


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 9:04pm
depends how long the nap lasts !   mine can stretch to 2 hours sometimes LOL is that still a nanna nap or a just a sleep ??Confused

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animals before people.


Posted By: Gay3
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 9:22pm
Whatever it's called or however it lasts, mine results in being unable to sleep when I'm supposed to i.e. at night!!!! Usually watching the clock 'till after midnight instead of 10ish Wink

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Wisdom has been chasing me but I've always outrun it!


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 01 Apr 2014 at 10:15pm
Originally posted by Gay3 Gay3 wrote:

Whatever it's called or however it lasts, mine results in being unable to sleep when I'm supposed to i.e. at night!!!! Usually watching the clock 'till after midnight instead of 10ish Wink

I'll stay out of this one .   I don't want some O.H chasing me around the paddock for putting in treatment ideas for insomnia suffering ladies.
But it always works . Trust me , most of my girls never got to finish reading their book.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2014 at 12:36pm
Originally posted by acacia alba acacia alba wrote:

so Fiddle has nanna naps ??   Hmmm, sound like me !LOL  maybe i just have more than he does.

If you ask me, I think Fiddles is confused and misspelled nanna. I think he really meant to post "nano" nap as in nanoseconds.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 02 Apr 2014 at 11:17pm
yes Shammy , modernising this world removed so many pleasures.
I loved the puberty days when we used to get under the timber slab bridges and peep through the cracks at the girls walking over head.
[ move your bottom lip from side to side and you will get an idea of what pleasures we saw.]
Loved those days and never even dreamed I would finish up in life with two blow up dolls.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 9:24am
Maccamax:  Here's a very honest obit.  I mean some people, not necessarily you,Ermm that have their obits replete with exaggerations.  Further, the term "stiff" might be misunderstood.  I mean "stiff" could mean you are a "lush."Stern Smile

http://www.click2houston.com/news/swedish-mans-3word-obit-i-am-dead/25465216


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 9:42am
Or this:


Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker.

He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe.

He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids.

Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000.

He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl.

He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother's great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951.

Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943.

He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.)

He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza).

In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then "downsized" in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been "downsized" from, and stayed until July 1995.

He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99.

There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors.

Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What's a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week.

Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt's life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate.

Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.

A memorial luncheon in Walt's honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark.

This obit has not only made people laugh, it's inspired a lot of people to, in fact, do something nice. So Walter Bruhl, Jr., with the help of his grandson, Sam, can proudly state "Mission Accomplished."



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Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 9:45am
Or this one on a suicider's grave:

My work was done, why wait?


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Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:51am
BD:  Are you giving your obit some serious thought?

What will your tombstone read?

"Related well to caninesThumbs Up, hated bullsh!tClap, dazzled a (very) few with his acumenBig smile, and was anti-communistApprove."

As for me, my work is mostly done, but I'll wait. LOL


Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 2:13pm
my work will be done by next Thursday, too, as i am retiring before Abbot boosts the age to 70 !
But I think I will wait , too LOL


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animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 2:56pm
Everyone falling for the 3 card trick.
Everyone convinced pensions are to get a bad deal.     not on.
Come Budget day , all those relieved voters will be thrilled with Joe.


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 3:02pm
No maxie, as I have told you many times Abbott has dug himself into such a hole with his strident rhetoric and grandstanding on election promise honesty  that he cannot make changes to pensions or much else next week, whether needed or not. More likely Hockey will announce that the rise to 70 from 20 odd years time. This will be pointless anyway because the superannuation generation will be retiring by then and pressure on pensions will be greatly reduced anyway. A giant beat up by our scare mongering Treasurer

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Posted By: acacia alba
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:11pm
can the pollies,,and the retired pollies,, lerks and perks.    save a fortune.
they are just milking it for all its worth.
cut the old age pension.  cut the pollies pension and all the extras they get.   be fair here .
and if they arnt,,,they will get hammered.


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animals before people.


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:30pm
Make it sound real bad and people will love them when it turns out good.
lololol Cut the age pension. Labor's mad delusional, scare mongering .   Pensions won't be cut ,   maybe indexation made more realistic.
   Put an entertainment tax on sex and problem solved.


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:39pm
Take away the millionaire pensioners health care card eh maxie?

Take away the tax breaks for the wealthy's super accounts and you will cut the deficit in half


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Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:42pm
Give a tax cut to workers and redirect it into a 10% co-contribution to their super funds so that 20% is being payed in and you will do away with pensions altogether. 

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Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 10:52pm
No problem with that.     I pay a hefty Health fund . Why should millionaires be subsidised on things like Food etc. by way of pensions.
   By all means make cash flow available to wealthy people [ owning property ] but do it by overdraft [ on say 2% above housing finance rates ] To be paid out of the Estate.
   Many people are doing it now , at huge interest rates [ that's wrong ] They call them reverse mortgages .
I can send you to all the money you want at 9.2 % on 33% of your Real Estate Value. [ 1st mortgage ]
    


Posted By: Whale
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:01pm
Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

Take away the millionaire pensioners health care card eh maxie?

Take away the tax breaks for the wealthy's super accounts and you will cut the deficit in half


can we infer from your post that you don't tax advantage of super ?


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Victor Orban 1.74 m, Michael Bloomberg 1.73 m, Emmanual Macron 1.77 m, George Soros 1.8 m


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:01pm
Yep it is ridiculous that aged people are locked into large assets. They should be able to live off it's value

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Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:05pm
Originally posted by Whale Whale wrote:

Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

Take away the millionaire pensioners health care card eh maxie?

Take away the tax breaks for the wealthy's super accounts and you will cut the deficit in half


can we infer from your post that you don't tax advantage of super ?

My only problem with it is that the only people who get any real advantage out of these super breaks is the wealthiest at a cost of tens of billions. It is welfare for those who least need it for retirement


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Posted By: Whale
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:12pm
yes but do YOU take advantage of the tax breaks ?

I have never been interested but am starting to listen to my accountant's advice ( no not Grinner LOL )


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Victor Orban 1.74 m, Michael Bloomberg 1.73 m, Emmanual Macron 1.77 m, George Soros 1.8 m


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:26pm
No

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Posted By: Whale
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:36pm
why not?
ethical considerations, can't be bothered, don't need to ?


-------------
Victor Orban 1.74 m, Michael Bloomberg 1.73 m, Emmanual Macron 1.77 m, George Soros 1.8 m


Posted By: Browndog
Date Posted: 16 Apr 2014 at 11:59pm
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

No problem with that.     I pay a hefty Health fund . Why should millionaires be subsidised on things like Food etc. by way of pensions.
   By all means make cash flow available to wealthy people [ owning property ] but do it by overdraft [ on say 2% above housing finance rates ] To be paid out of the Estate.
   Many people are doing it now , at huge interest rates [ that's wrong ] They call them reverse mortgages .
I can send you to all the money you want at 9.2 % on 33% of your Real Estate Value. [ 1st mortgage ]
    

Aren't reverse mortgages for elderly restricted to something like 15 or 20% or the value of the property for someone about 60? You can get them a lot cheaper at around 7 or 8%, cant you maxie?

Maybe these restrictions should be relaxed. If you don't want to leave your house to your unworthy offspring, you should be able to cash in and stuff them.


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Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 17 Apr 2014 at 1:35am
Originally posted by Browndog Browndog wrote:

Yep it is ridiculous that aged people are locked into large assets. They should be able to live off it's value


Large assets? I knew maccamax had been living happily off his but you mean there are more like him in OZ?


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 17 Apr 2014 at 8:26am
Hahahaha Shammy.    The offspring have you well milked by age 80.
   Remember we are living in the generation of the skilled .   They are masters of making their oldies buy peace of mind .     It's called emotional black mail.
   Compulsory overdrafts,[ say ] a third of the Family jewels should be made available, that would lower welfare cost by more than you think.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 17 Apr 2014 at 8:59am
Oh, maccamax, do it the yank way.  Say something like "kids don't expect anything other than what I've provided you genetically.  All the rest I'm spending."Thumbs Up


Posted By: maccamax
Date Posted: 17 Apr 2014 at 3:04pm
Originally posted by Shammy Davis Shammy Davis wrote:

Oh, maccamax, do it the yank way.  Say something like "kids don't expect anything other than what I've provided you genetically.  All the rest I'm spending."Thumbs Up


No wonder you Yanks drive on the wrong side of the road.
If I started spending up I would have genetically increased dependants in the inheritance pool.    I'm an every dig a pig man.
   Having been gifted in getting to know Fiddles and a couple of the other Laborites on here ,   I'm particular where I put "percy " now days.    I have become a firm believer in contraception.


Posted By: Shammy Davis
Date Posted: 18 Apr 2014 at 11:07am
For a man your age, contraception is a right thing to do.  Fatherless children do struggle during their up bringing, you know.  Hate to think that some poor child would have to admit that his father died at conception. Dead  I compare it to driving on the wrong side of the road.  There are so few countries that drive on the left, that it definitely makes all the other countries "right!"LOL



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