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Maccamax - Have you thought about an obit? |
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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Posted: 18 Mar 2014 at 9:20am |
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Macca: When I read this I thought of you. I recall one of your latest posts (Ukraine) as you were thinking about being a Marine and going to war. God bless you.
Here's a good sample obit that you might want to follow to leave the world with a bit of your humor. You can change the names and numbers of wives to protect the innocent. Hope you will make sure to include your relationship with Princess Julie though. Historical events are important for the public to know about along with date you lost your virginity. Victoria was queen then, wasn't she? http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/03/17/self-penned-obituary-earns-korean-war-vet-last-laugh-from-grave/ A Korean War veteran who wrote his own heart-warming and hilarious obituary now gone viral gave himself a perfect sendoff, one of his grandchildren told FoxNews.com. Walter George Bruhl Jr., of Delaware, who died at early Sunday at 80, in Florida, poked fun at society, his wife and most of all himself in the 679-word obituary, originally posted online by his grandson, Sam, last week after Bruhl's family discovered it. In the first line, Bruhl aptly describes himself as "a dead person," and goes on to note his wife of 57 years, Helene, will “now be able to purchase the mink coat” he always denied her because “only minks should wear mink.” Bruhl’s granddaughter, Kalla, said the obituary was vintage Walter Bruhl. "It was perfect for him, because he’s always been like that." - Kalla Bruhl “It was perfect for him, because he’s always been like that,” she told FoxNews.com. “He’s funny.” The obituary has made the rounds on Twitter and Facebook, generating positive reviews from folks who never knew Bruhl, but know they would have liked him. Amid the self-deprecating lines and tender memories is the story of a man from humble beginnings who fought for his nation, loved his family and enjoyed an occasional adult beverage. Here's the obituary in its entirety: Walter George Bruhl Jr. of Newark and Dewey Beach is a dead person; he is no more; he is bereft of life; he is deceased; he has rung down the curtain and gone to join the choir invisible; he has expired and gone to meet his maker. He drifted off this mortal coil Sunday, March 9, 2014, in Punta Gorda, Fla. His spirit was released from his worn-out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe. He was surrounded by his loving wife of 57 years, Helene Sellers Bruhl, who will now be able to purchase the mink coat which he had always refused her because he believed only minks should wear mink. He is also survived by his son Walter III and wife Melissa; daughters Carly and Paige, and son Martin and wife Debra; son Sam and daughter Kalla. Walt loved and enjoyed his grandkids. Walt was preceded in death by his tonsils and adenoids in 1935; a spinal disc in 1974; a large piece of his thyroid gland in 1988; and his prostate on March 27, 2000. He was born in Philadelphia, Pa., April 20,1933 at 10:38 p.m., and weighed in at a healthy seven pounds, four ounces, and was 22 inches long, to Blanche Buckman Bruhl and Walter George Bruhl. He drifted through the Philadelphia Public School System from 1937 through 1951, graduating, to his mother's great relief, from John Bartram High School in June 1951. Walter was a Marine Corps veteran of the Korean War, having served from October 1951 to September 1954, with overseas duty in Japan from June 1953 till August 1954. He attained the rank of sergeant. He chose this path because of Hollywood propaganda, to which he succumbed as a child during World War II, and his cousin Ella, who joined the corps in 1943. He served an electronics apprenticeship at the Philadelphia Naval Yard from 1956-61; operated Atlantic Automotive Service Stations in Wilmington during 1961-62; and was employed by the late great DuPont Co. from 1962-93. (Very few people who knew him would say he worked for DuPont, and he always claimed he had only been been hired to fill a position.) He started at the Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Department, and then was promoted to research assistant, where he stayed from 1963-72. In 1972 he accepted a position as an equipment service representative with the Photo Products Department at the old DuPont Airport site (now Barley Mill Plaza). In 1973 he was promoted to manufacturing engineering technologist and was employed in that capacity until, after 31 years with The Co., he was given a fine anniversary dinner and a token gift and then "downsized" in December 1993. He was rehired as a contract employee in June 1994, doing the same job that he had been "downsized" from, and stayed until July 1995. He started his own contract business and worked at Litho Tech Ltd. from 1996-99. There will be no viewing since his wife refuses to honor his request to have him standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand so he would appear natural to visitors. Cremation will take place at the family's convenience, and his ashes will be kept in an urn until they get tired of having it around. What's a Grecian Urn? Oh, about 200 drachmas a week. Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walt's life in their own way; raising a glass of their favorite drink in his memory would be quite appropriate. Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name. A memorial luncheon in Walt's honor will be held Saturday, March 15, at 1 p.m., at Deerfield, Newark. |
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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A good read Shammy.
My better half and I have already done our few words for our Headstones . That should suffice. On hers I recommended. Layed for the final time. On mine she recommended. Stiff at last. |
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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You are true to form. I'll leave my imagination to visualize the size and scope of your monuments. Hope they don't obstruct flight patterns into and out of Sydney Airport.
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Fiddlesticks
Champion Joined: 31 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 49963 |
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Surely you meant Orbit...??
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Panspermia.
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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Wasn't aware that OZ has a space program. The way USA and Russian relations are going, you all might propose to take our seats on upcoming flights to the international space station. Or maybe not . . . recall Abbott shooting his face off to the Russians about the Crimea. Suspect if there is any shooting to be done it won't be to the stars. Cry me a river. Alas, Maxie will be ready whatever occurs, I am sure. He has announced he is ready to go to war.
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Fiddlesticks
Champion Joined: 31 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 49963 |
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I think having macca in orbit would make a lot of people happy, give him a big reflective aluminum foil sail and he can use his own hot air as a solar wind to propel himself around the globe.
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Panspermia.
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Shammy .. Shame . Australia Has the biggest Space program in the world. England did have some input.
It is situated just below Fiddlesticks nose , centrally driven by too much tongue Torque. You missed an "H" when you said I was ready for a wore. |
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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Are you "picking" at Fiddles' nose? Odd place for "space" to be. For most, it's between their ears. You should be careful how you refer to your ladies. You may find that your tomb stone reads "not stiff enough."
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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I read where a bloke was too well built to get the lid on the coffin.
The undertaker suggested they cut it off and put it in the Flowers. The Widow said to cut it off and shove it " you know where " and added that was what he did when she had the Flowers. Which reminds me of Fiddles, any port in a storm. |
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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I just love to hear stories about beautiful relationships particularly when flowers are exchanged for something more personal. With your numerous experiences I'll bet you could go for hours telling me about them but alas its bedtime for this old man. Tonight I think I'll dream about being buried intact. I'll have no problems fitting into anything after I'm cremated. I'll think my urn should read "melt down for scrape." I might even donate some of my organs to science. They can use them to calibrate microscopes. "Port in a storm?" Is Fiddles out fishing today? Good for him, his 24 hour TBV news service must be stressful. Probably not as stressful as fishing in a storm though. I've heard OZ is getting a fair share of fierce winds. Macca have you been out in the public talking again?
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Nocturnal
Champion Joined: 26 Sep 2008 Location: at the 800 Status: Offline Points: 13667 |
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You are a legend Macca |
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The only problem with backing winners ? You never have enough on....
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Thank you Nocturnal. Great to see a few like yourself and Shammy etc. who haven't become too precious to share some wicked humour. At times I wonder why I have to hold back , when a few complain. But their complaints are not in vain as my shares in "Rubber Goods" skyrocket with each whinge. |
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36447 |
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I think Macca's wife's headstone should read: "Bored to Death."
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36447 |
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mine is going to read "Gone! Yes, finally! Happy now?"
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Don't be Depressed. We are a long time under the sod. And things could be worse . You could be waking up with me to face for the day. Cherish the thought. It may not be "Happy Days" but you would certainly have a smile on your face. |
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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That would have been OK JJ , but she didn't allow me to do all the boring. Unfaithful wench. |
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jujuno
Champion Joined: 25 Jan 2010 Location: Coasting Status: Offline Points: 36447 |
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the thought of waking up with you is enough to make anyone |
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Desert War, Rain Lover, Latin Knight, Hay List, Mustard...my turf heroes...
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Be steaming from the ears too.
That's a shocker. There goes my ego . |
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acacia alba
Champion Joined: 31 Oct 2010 Location: Hunter Valley Status: Offline Points: 41483 |
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my headstone is going to say.
Dont get mad. Just get even . |
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animals before people.
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go. ------------ For Me I will settle for a soft line.:- Two things I love most, good horses and beautiful women, And when I die I hope they tan this old hide of mine and make it into a ladies saddle, So I can rest in peace between the two things I love |
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Fiddlesticks
Champion Joined: 31 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 49963 |
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Macca's will say...
Here lies Larry Pickering's french polisher.. |
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Panspermia.
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saintly96
Champion Joined: 12 Jun 2008 Location: Nunya biz Status: Offline Points: 12926 |
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When I die, I want free Wi-Fi at my headstone, that way the kids might visit me.
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acacia alba
Champion Joined: 31 Oct 2010 Location: Hunter Valley Status: Offline Points: 41483 |
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who is Larry Pickering ? And why does he have a french polisher ? |
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animals before people.
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maccamax
Champion Joined: 19 Jun 2010 Status: Offline Points: 41473 |
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He is a Journo Larry . I rarely read him but fiddles is in a delusional state again. How do you get him to take his Rx.
Saintly has the modern kids well tabbed. They would send a text message. 1st priority. |
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acacia alba
Champion Joined: 31 Oct 2010 Location: Hunter Valley Status: Offline Points: 41483 |
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OK ,so why does Larry need a french polisher ??
call me old and slow,,but i dont get it. what is a french polisher ?? kids and texts,,OMG. they never raise their head and the fingers are faster than the speed of sound. I think its sad, the way kids now sit and stare at the screen,, and the fingers working O/T. never join in conversation,,,,,never join in at all,,,just sit there staring at a phone. what a life !! sad really. they dont even know what they are missing. |
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animals before people.
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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AA: It's hard for me to keep up with all the colloquialisms in OZ, but french polishing is a wood working technique to bring a high gloss finish to furniture et al.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF7wANfTub8 Of course, I never know. Maybe be Fiddles is being naughty. It's possible Fiddles is delusional also because by my stateside calculations he probably hasn't slept in a month.
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Go Flash Go
Champion Joined: 08 Mar 2007 Location: Victoria Status: Offline Points: 10250 |
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Not sure how old macca is, by thiis l'm guessing old (in years) but he's still quick on the draw and a deadeye - he even let's them draw first - love your work (most of the time )
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Browndog
Moderator Group Joined: 30 Oct 2009 Location: Brunswick Hds N Status: Offline Points: 35559 |
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A French polisher does a lot of rubbing. You can take it from there
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Shammy Davis
Champion Joined: 14 Dec 2012 Status: Offline Points: 8590 |
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I knew Fiddles was being naughty. Why would Macca want to put a high gloss on his furniture?
I went to a funeral some years back. The husband had died at a relatively young age and the widow, with a child for every year she'd been married, was overcome with grief. She was wailing and crying and friends and family were trying to console her. This was just prior to the service beginning. The organ music then began to play softly, the funeral director closed the open casket, and the minister took his place at the pulpit. The whispers through the church had become silent and then all of sudden the widow screamed, "Lord, lord, he is gone, he is gone and thank goodness he can't go out on me no more!" The service from that point on was the shortest I'd ever attended. |
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Browndog
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I think the suggestion was that he was polishing Larry Pickering's furniture. Larry reinforces most of maxies political and social 'wisdom'
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