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Cyber Bullying

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ThreeBears View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThreeBears Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 4:21pm
I don't agree with the self serving, living in their own bubble, views expressed by some on this thread. Especially Max and PT. What's new?
 
 
My nephew has just left his boarding school. The issue was entirely bullying, not some other underlying problem or mental illness. Some need to stop looking at the world solely through their own perspective. It's tainted and not entirely objective.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote furious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 4:32pm
Hope he's alright Threebears.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThreeBears Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 4:42pm
Yes thanks Furious. He's well looked after at home and spent a week in NZ on holiday with his mum and grandparents. New school now and happy as Larry. ( He's in school overseas not Oz ).
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 4:44pm
I was bu7llied at school, am now bullied on TBV, some things never change
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Passing Through Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 4:44pm
LOL
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote oneonesit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:03pm
Originally posted by Whale Whale wrote:

I was bu7llied at school, am now bullied on TBV, some things never change
Its always that little bit harder for unattractive , chubby people.
Scientist & Global Warming Expert
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:10pm
Originally posted by ThreeBears ThreeBears wrote:


I don't agree with the self serving, living in their own bubble, views expressed by some on this thread. Especially Max and PT. What's new?
 
 
My nephew has just left his boarding school. The issue was entirely bullying, not some other underlying problem or mental illness. Some need to stop looking at the world solely through their own perspective. It's tainted and not entirely objective.
Big difference between "leaving school" and suiciding, wouldn't you say ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Passing Through Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:16pm
Originally posted by ThreeBears ThreeBears wrote:

I don't agree with the self serving, living in their own bubble, views expressed by some on this thread. Especially Max and PT. What's new?
 
 
My nephew has just left his boarding school. The issue was entirely bullying, not some other underlying problem or mental illness. Some need to stop looking at the world solely through their own perspective. It's tainted and not entirely objective.

Having had 2 two teenage family members take their own lives as well as an aunt and uncle, it is a bit more than a casual self serving view from inside a bubble
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote JudgeHolden Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:18pm
Those school years are incredibly formative. Kids who are bullied have a hard time getting over it, and it tends to influence their perceptions of friendships years later. Conversely, I know some blokes who were the Alpha males of their day and gave others a hard time. These guys are severely embarrassed (I would say even shamed) about what they did to others. Bothers them to this day. Lose-lose situation.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote ThreeBears Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:36pm
Max and PT  there's a runner at Kempton tonight you really shouldn't miss. Race one number six. Get on, it sums you and a lot of your posts up perfectly.
 
 
Four family members suicide and you still don't get it?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote djebel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:39pm
Originally posted by ThreeBears ThreeBears wrote:

Max and PT  there's a runner at Kempton tonight you really shouldn't miss. Race one number six. Get on, it sums you and a lot of your posts up perfectly.
 
 
Four family members suicide and you still don't get it?

Are you suggesting all suicides are the same ?




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reductio ad absurdum

The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:44pm
Originally posted by ThreeBears ThreeBears wrote:


Max and PT  there's a runner at Kempton tonight you really shouldn't miss. Race one number six. Get on, it sums you and a lot of your posts up perfectly.
 
 
Four family members suicide and you still don't get it?

Ripper mate, give yourself a slap on the back. Another winning day, was it ? I think PT is quite right, there is a lot more to this story than the superficial, sensationalizing media would have us believe, people don't suicide unless there is a pre-existing situation, we can't just blame it on the "trigger" like the media are doing,
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote acacia alba Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:24pm
I have to admit to not understanding why people do it.  I have had a mate, and a friend, both suicide.
I have also worked in an area where people have done it, and we have been left to pick up the bits.
I also dont see why this one girl has been held up as an icon, so to speak, when so many other kids have done it, and passed under the radar.
Some kids handle boarding school and some dont.  Quite a few of my family have kids who went thru it.  Some loved it and some hated it.  The ones who hated it just refused to go back after hols, and ended up in the small local school, and went on to make a good life for themselves.   Why do parents insist on sending kids away from home anyway ?  Now days its easy to home school/distance education/school of the air etc.
I just think there is a fragile person hidden in there somewhere, when they do this.  And it doesnt take very much to tip them over the edge.
 
animals before people.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tontonan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 11:45pm
Originally posted by acacia alba acacia alba wrote:


I also dont see why this one girl has been held up as an icon, so to speak, when so many other kids have done it, and passed under the radar.

That is easy.  Dolly was the poster girl for the iconic Akruba hats, a good looking kid from a prominent family in the district who seemed, from a distance, to have the world at her feet as djebel said.  When I first saw the photo I thought I was looking at a young Bindi Irwin.  The image has 'iconic' written all over it. 

But it is not only the superficial aspects that the media have latched on to.  Youth suicide is a massive problem in rural and regional Australia, although it is usually young men that are most at risk.  But Dolly was a belle, and I think many in the bush have genuinely been knocked sideways that such a  girl has been bullied into taking her own life. 

At this point I should own up to a couple of things.  

Firstly I have a degree in sociology.  The first thing you study as a undergrad sociology student is Suicide as it was the foundation study of the discipline, written by Emile Durkheim in 1897 when it was still very much a taboo subject.  And it was still a taboo subject 40 years ago when signed on to the course.  

As part of the initial tutorials on the subject students spoke about their experience of suicide.  Some had never encountered it in their albeit brief lives, some knew a school mate or a family member who had taken their own life.  One guy knew two.  I sat there ashen faced because when it was my turn I had to report that I knew NINE.  I thought that was normal.  For the first time I realized it was far from normal.

What made it all the more abnormal was that Durkheim, after an extensive study that defined a co-relegation between suicide rates in different societies according to the degree of social integration and regulation in those societies, concluded that the suicide rate was higher in Protestant societies than Catholic societies because Catholic societies were more integrated and normatively regulated  than Protestant societies.    And I was fresh out of 12 years of Catholic schooling !  What the hell was going on ?

The tutor was bit miffed that I was pulling the rug on the landmark study of the founding father of sociology with my exceptional stories of suicidal catholic schoolboys in my first tutorial but there was an explanation that revealed itself in the fullness of time.  

You see, I was educated by the Christian Brothers, and three of the brothers who taught me are currently doing jail time for raping schoolboys and I know of at least two others who would have been doing time if they hadn't gone and died before they could be prosecuted.  I hadn't quite put the pieces together in 1979 but I have over the years.

I remember that tutorial like was yesterday.  The Monash Sociology Department occupies the top two floors of the 11 storey RG Menzies Building and the elevators were always out of order.  It was during my first year, as a nosey sociology student that I discovered why.  Chinese Malay students out here on the Colombo Plan would dive down the elevator shafts to their deaths.  It was never spoken of, except by nosey sociology students.   They were under extreme pressure to perform, and they were socially isolated and dis-integrated in a foreign, rather racist white Australian society.  

Maybe Durkheim's theory holds after all.  


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote djebel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 10:31am


STRIKE WHILST THE IRON IS HOT

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Redemption Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 4:10pm
Blaming the victim is a disgrace.

Suggestion that they must have a mental issue?
Seriously???

Sensitivity is NOT a mental issue.
Its actually a beautiful human quality.

When a person, in particular a young person, is told to go suicide by a bully, they are going to be damn sensitive to that.
Heck, even adults can be sensitive to that.

When a message is repeated over and over and over again, through the power of repetition, the bully uses that power, repeating the same violent messages, tricking the victims brain into it being true, a necessity, you must die, you are pathetic, you should die, go kill yourself, over and over again, any normal human heart and sensitive mind is going to be darkened with such filth.

Its mental murder. Not mental illness.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote BlackKnight Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 4:20pm
Tontonan, your posts here are exactly right.

As someone who is younger than (I suspect) a lot of posters here but still a decade and a bit removed from high school I fully understand the "don't look at social media" comments. It makes sense. Bullying in the past was confined to being at school (and going to and coming from). There was a sanctuary when you got home.

Now there is no sanctuary. Today's youth are plugged in in a way that I can't even understand. Self worth is measured by the number of likes on your latest Facebook or instagram post. In that environment, for better or worse, "turning it off" is not an option because checking social media is as natural as cleaning your teeth. It means that the bullying is relentless.

Change can only be made if people are committed to it being made. A 13 year old boy took his life in similar circumstances in Queensland about this time last year. There was outrage for about two weeks. Now he is a footnote to the current stories, and nothing has changed in the meantime. And I fear nothing will this time either.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Passing Through Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 4:23pm

Facts About Mental Illness and Suicide

The great majority of people who experience a mental illness do not die by suicide.  However, of those who die from suicide, more than 90 percent have a diagnosable mental disorder.

People who die by suicide are frequently experiencing undiagnosed, undertreated, or untreated depression.

Worldwide, suicide is among the three leading causes of death among people aged 15 to 44.

  • An estimated 2-15 % of persons who have been diagnosed with major depression die by suicide. Suicide risk is highest in depressed individuals who feel hopeless about the future, those who have just been discharged from the hospital, those who have a family history of suicide and those who have made a suicide attempt in the past.
  • An estimated 3-20% of persons who have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder die by suicide. Hopelessness, recent hospital discharge, family history, and prior suicide attempts all raise the risk of suicide in these individuals.
  • An estimated 6-15% of persons diagnosed with schizophrenia die by suicide. Suicide is the leading cause of premature death in those diagnosed with schizophrenia. Between 75 and 95% of these individuals are male.
  • Also at high risk are individuals who suffer from depression at the same time as another mental illness. Specifically, the presence of substance abuse, anxiety disorders, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder put those with depression at greater risk for suicide.
  • People with personality disorders are approximately three times as likely to die by suicide than those without. Between 25 and 50% of these individuals also have a substance abuse disorder or major depressive disorder.

http://mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/suicideprevention/suicidefacts.asp

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Passing Through Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 4:25pm
Around 2,400 Australians die from suicide each year and there is no doubt that depression is a major cause. Of those who have killed themselves, many have experienced depression, bipolar disorder or other forms of mental illness. For every person who dies from suicide, it is thought at least another 20 people attempt to take their lives.

Suicide is a leading cause of death for people seriously affected by mental illness. Up to one in 10 people affected by mental illness kill themselves.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 6:04pm
Originally posted by Redemption Redemption wrote:

Blaming the victim is a disgrace.

Suggestion that they must have a mental issue?
Seriously???

Sensitivity is NOT a mental issue.
Its actually a beautiful human quality.

When a person, in particular a young person, is told to go suicide by a bully, they are going to be damn sensitive to that.
Heck, even adults can be sensitive to that.

When a message is repeated over and over and over again, through the power of repetition, the bully uses that power, repeating the same violent messages, tricking the victims brain into it being true, a necessity, you must die, you are pathetic, you should die, go kill yourself, over and over again, any normal human heart and sensitive mind is going to be darkened with such filth.

Its mental murder. Not mental illness.


you have a compassionate side, nice to see

unless of course the victim is from a shthouse country Ouch
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote stayer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 14 Jan 2018 at 8:58pm
Originally posted by BlackKnight BlackKnight wrote:

Tontonan, your posts here are exactly right.

As someone who is younger than (I suspect) a lot of posters here but still a decade and a bit removed from high school I fully understand the "don't look at social media" comments. It makes sense. Bullying in the past was confined to being at school (and going to and coming from). There was a sanctuary when you got home.

Now there is no sanctuary. Today's youth are plugged in in a way that I can't even understand. Self worth is measured by the number of likes on your latest Facebook or instagram post. In that environment, for better or worse, "turning it off" is not an option because checking social media is as natural as cleaning your teeth. It means that the bullying is relentless.

Change can only be made if people are committed to it being made. A 13 year old boy took his life in similar circumstances in Queensland about this time last year. There was outrage for about two weeks. Now he is a footnote to the current stories, and nothing has changed in the meantime. And I fear nothing will this time either.


Great post (probably because you're younger?)
Internet/social media is a new phenomenon that can't be compared to past stuff. This so called "cyber bullying" is less to do with "mental health", "bullying" blah blah than it is to do with the "cyber" bit - the human brain is not built for the speed and range of the messages being churned out on the net. For a developing kid, it's very fast, very simple, very emotional, very seductive, very brainwashing mess, and it's all thrown into a very real "net" that goes beyond old day models of schoolyard bullying. As a teacher, I've seen the miatakes that 12-15 yo kids make on facebook etc and the shame they have to live with when they grow up a couple more years. What's sad is how many kids make themselves targets for bullying by the stupid crap they publish to the whole world on social media. What's also deeply sad (though not spoken about enough yet) is that suicide is glorified and those who do it are treated as heroes for doing what so many other confused and tormented kids didn't have the "guts" or "integrity" to do. Kids of that age live in an emotional world of black and white. The adults need to get them through it.

Kids used to be able to go home (or to school) to escape bullying, but now their internet life is just as real as their life anong people day to day. Sad but true. The only solution is teaching kids that the net is dangerous, and preferably keeping them the hell away from social media until the message has gotten through that it's BS. Teach the parents that too. Nothing to do with "mental health" - just a fad issue.
"She's going through a growth phase." - GW
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