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Cyber Bullying

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    Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:32am
I am staggered things can be so bad a 14 year old with "the world at her feet" could take her own life.

There must be more to this ?



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Passing Through Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 5:44am
I dont think that bullying is the cause of the suicide, rather the trigger to it. The underlying mental health issues that put a person in that head space is the problem. While anti bullying programs and awareness is a positive thing on a general human level, I doubt a total cessation of bullying will eliminate youth suicide, or even diminish it much. Awareness of what is bothering people is better focused on rather than blaming this trigger or another
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Teenagers are particularly vulnerable though. For example wearing the correct "designer fashion" becomes all important at this period. Almost as if it is a fight to maintain/establish your postion in the pecking order. My young fellow was a nightmare 14 to 17 - was all about his friends & how he related to them. Daughter not so much. So any constant put down by "competitors" can be "everything" at that point of a kids life. Agree it is still a only a trigger though to a bigger problem
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 7:39am
Originally posted by djebel djebel wrote:

There must be more to this ?



I think most sensible people, thought that immediately, but the media machine didn't have anything to say about that, the obvious, they really put a very low priority on truth, and a big premium on sensationalism.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tlazolteotl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 7:50am
I don't get cyber-bullying? Where does it happen- I mean on what sites? Seems an easy thing to me to fix the settings on those sites to friends and family only, or if that is not possible, block the site- DON'T LOOK IF IT BOTHERS YOU.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:08am
Originally posted by Tlazolteotl Tlazolteotl wrote:

I don't get cyber-bullying? Where does it happen- I mean on what sites? Seems an easy thing to me to fix the settings on those sites to friends and family only, or if that is not possible, block the site- DON'T LOOK IF IT BOTHERS YOU.

Not completely unknown, right here !   
But the way the media has handled this story, is deplorable. They have simplified into a villains/victims scenario, when it is obvious there has to be a serious resilience deficit in play, for this suicide to have occurred. Media personality Charlotte Dawson, who was hardly a youngster, allegedly committed suicide after cyber-bullying, but she would have had to be close to the edge, for that to happen. It (cybert-bullying) just isn't the whole story, or even the main story, but the media is presenting it as such.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tlazolteotl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:17am
As long as I knew that there was chance of them morphing into a playground bully, I would love to have had a cyber-bully when I was a child- it would be amusing. And when they stopped being amusing you can, unlike a playground bully, turn them off.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tlazolteotl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:17am
Originally posted by Tlazolteotl Tlazolteotl wrote:

As long as I knew that there NO was chance of them morphing into a playground bully, I would love to have had a cyber-bully when I was a child- it would be amusing. And when they stopped being amusing you can, unlike a playground bully, turn them off.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:18am
[
Not completely unknown, right here !   
But the way the media has handled this story, is deplorable. They have simplified into a villains/victims scenario, when it is obvious there has to be a serious resilience deficit in play, for this suicide to have occurred. Media personality Charlotte Dawson, who was hardly a youngster, allegedly committed suicide after cyber-bullying, but she would have had to be close to the edge, for that to happen. It (cybert-bullying) just isn't the whole story, or even the main story, but the media is presenting it as such.[/QUOTE]

Big difference between anonymous being bullied and the actual person being bullied. Was she bullied under her real name, people knew her and exactly what they were targetting ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:23am
Certainly if the cyber bullying is just an extension of face-to-face bullying, it is more likely to be an affront. But if they are just strangers, then sadly we have a very delicate person, that they would be so affected by it. But if it is from people known face-to-face, it is more about bullying in general, than the method of delivery.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote djebel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:26am
I hope Authorities do a thorough investigation into these suicides of such young children.

Including everything not just cybor bullying.



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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote max manewer Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:31am
Originally posted by djebel djebel wrote:

I hope Authorities do a thorough investigation into these suicides of such young children.

Including everything not just cybor bullying.


Youth suicide is not uncommon. Do we see any progress in reducing it ? It is certainly more common with boys.
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Originally posted by djebel djebel wrote:

I am staggered things can be so bad a 14 year old with "the world at her feet" could take her own life.

There must be more to this ?


Thats exactly what I thought.
And like others here I dont get cyber bullying ?    If someone is giving you are hard time and upsetting you to  the point of suicide, dont go there.  Dont read it.  Dont look.
The bits I saw/read etc, she was home on school holidays at the time, somewhere out back, so I didnt understand how this could happen. The bullying, I mean.
I must be way behind the times as this of bullying driving kids to this point I just dont understand .  There is so much out there about it now, telling all the young ones to talk/ask/seek help, and so  many others there and willing to help.   Its "out there " every day.  Parents, teachers, friends, are all aware and should be on the look out for bullying, so how does it slip by them,  if its bad enough that a 14 y.o. does this ?
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote djebel Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:37am
When I was about 13 or 14 a family friends son took his life. He was at Bording school.

I often wonder what was happening at that Bording school that drove him to suicide ?



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The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least.

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Has it been reported how she killed her self? If it was by gun, how did she get access to it??
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tlazolteotl Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:51am
Originally posted by djebel djebel wrote:

When I was about 13 or 14 a family friends son took his life. He was at Bording school.

I often wonder what was happening at that Bording school that drove him to suicide ?



Did he want to be at boarding school?

Boarding school is the perfect environment for the bully.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote furious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 8:51am
Don't know cyber bullying but know bullying.  You just have to be different.  Ie horse mad, artistic and musical.  Some of the worst for an Aussie kid.  I run the local church choir and we do a really good job but I doubted myself for bullying so bad that I wouldn't sing for 6 months as a teenager.  They find what your good at and belittle you - little but savage.  You can't help yourself, you believe them and go back to go over it, time and time again, trying to work your way out but only digging yourself in further.  Guess with cyber bullying this is what happens.  They are trying to understand what the bully is getting at and how to overcome it but only getting deeper into depression.  If you are different from the bunch they want to pull you down.  I don't even think the bullies know they are doing it.  They don't realize that verbal is bullying - often more depleting and depressing than violence.
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Thank heavens for my pets, parents and religion which have helped me get over some vicious attacks over the years.  I'm not perfect - none of us are - we all fail and know it so niggles get in and we believe that must be the case.

I've watched my husband go through depression with constant outsource at work - which was through no fault of his - which is also like a form of bullying.  It belittles your self belief which is what bullying does - so the same outcome occurs.
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I must have been a very lucky kid at school.   Either that, or kids were more normal back then .  If anyone was a subject for bullying it would have been me.  Small, shy, no confidence, always felt I wasnt as good as the rest, wore glasses and always had a big patch over one lense, Mum pulled my hair up in one of those bloody awefull bows.  I wouldnt  say BOO to a mouse.   But no one ever gave me a hard time ? Or if they did it must have been like water off a ducks back !  I had 4 or 5 mates and we stuck together and to thiis day I never feel I was ever bullied.   Strange that Confused  Guess thats why I dont understand it at all now.
I think the only person who ever bullied me was a sewing teacher, because I couldnt see well enough to do the fine stitches, and to this day I hate even sewing a button on.  She was a total B***H, but it didnt ruin my life.
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it is sad that the poor girl couldn't find some comfort in her animals.

a seemingly idyllic life;something major has happened.
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Originally posted by Passing Through Passing Through wrote:

I dont think that bullying is the cause of the suicide, rather the trigger to it. The underlying mental health issues that put a person in that head space is the problem. While anti bullying programs and awareness is a positive thing on a general human level, I doubt a total cessation of bullying will eliminate youth suicide, or even diminish it much. Awareness of what is bothering people is better focused on rather than blaming this trigger or another

Well said, but the media are keen to play to the cyber-bullying aspect, for their own purposes.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote furious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 10:55am
The problem is self doubt which bullying can emphasis.  We all have some self doubt but get over it as we grow in confidence.  But even the most confident of people will fold with enough pressure.  You fold in on yourself and hide.  Or try to.  Had one daughter like you AA.  She is still in with her friends from school through highs and lows.  She was the first with a baby and now the rest are catching up but they were a lovely group.  

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote maccamax Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 11:03am
Originally posted by furious furious wrote:

The problem is self doubt which bullying can emphasis.  We all have some self doubt but get over it as we grow in confidence.  But even the most confident of people will fold with enough pressure.  You fold in on yourself and hide.  Or try to.  Had one daughter like you AA.  She is still in with her friends from school through highs and lows.  She was the first with a baby and now the rest are catching up but they were a lovely group.  



The Media are a curse that resemble the Piranha.   Truth only gets in the way of a good story.
Donald Trump has them analysed for what they are :-

     THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Whale Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 11:05am
Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Originally posted by furious furious wrote:

The problem is self doubt which bullying can emphasis.  We all have some self doubt but get over it as we grow in confidence.  But even the most confident of people will fold with enough pressure.  You fold in on yourself and hide.  Or try to.  Had one daughter like you AA.  She is still in with her friends from school through highs and lows.  She was the first with a baby and now the rest are catching up but they were a lovely group.  



The Media are a curse that resemble the Piranha.   Truth only gets in the way of a good story.
Donald Trump has them analysed for what they are :-

     THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.


come on Macca, don't be so modest Smile
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Tontonan Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 11:33am
The difference between we ageing baby boomers and the 21st century kids is that we grew up with face to face bullying.  The internet was something we were introduced to later in life when we had already taken our 'hard knocks', toughen up, formed our identities and become comfortable in our own skin.  

But for the kids who have been born into the internet age they are trying to know themselves in an environment dominated by social media and they don't yet have the experience, the self knowledge or the thick skins of adults.  They are desperate for identity, for acceptance and approval, and unfortunately they seek it online where bullies are relentless and emboldened (<<< not sure that is actually a word)... 

Part of the problem is that kids don't realize what flogs keyboard warriors are or just how ordinary or pathetic the really cool kids turn out to be, or how interesting a lot of the dweebs and the nerds turn out to be... and they are generally under the misapprehension that because someone said it online the whole world is reading it and believe's it to be true...

All of this is particularly acute for children who are isolated.  In Dolly's case she lived on a remote station and attended boarding school.  Notably she has taken her life at home before returning to school.  I am not going to presume to question her family relationships but I can't imagine she was looking forward to going back to school, and if I were looking for causes that is where I would be looking.  I doubt Dolly's demons were anonymous.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote furious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 11:41am
True Tontonan.  Even my children where before the real age of mobile phones etc.
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Originally posted by maccamax maccamax wrote:

Originally posted by furious furious wrote:

The problem is self doubt which bullying can emphasis.  We all have some self doubt but get over it as we grow in confidence.  But even the most confident of people will fold with enough pressure.  You fold in on yourself and hide.  Or try to.  Had one daughter like you AA.  She is still in with her friends from school through highs and lows.  She was the first with a baby and now the rest are catching up but they were a lovely group.  



The Media are a curse that resemble the Piranha.   Truth only gets in the way of a good story.
Donald Trump has them analysed for what they are :-

     THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

Not far wrong. I saw a TV journo egging on hecklers once at an election rally, where old Joh was speaking a few metres, away, he offered one a bag of peanuts to throw at the then Premier. Anything for a sensational story.
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Could of at least eaten the nuts and threw the shells, don't you think.
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Inciting a crime, really.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote furious Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13 Jan 2018 at 1:30pm
Trouble with one of the above statements is I see Trump as a bully also.  The media do like to get sensational results.  I've even thought them to be disappointed sometimes when nature calms down and a cyclone isn't as bad as they thought it would be.  Instead of happy for the people who escaped major trauma in their lives.  But I don't think they all would be the same surely some really try to just report the news and not create the news.
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